Reverse Obituary Exercise
Clarify present priorities by writing the legacy you want to leave
- Difficulty
- Easy
- Time to result
- ~days to results
- Steps
- 5
- Confidence
- 99%
The Reverse Obituary Exercise works backward from a desired legacy to clarify current priorities. Write the obituary you would hope others could truthfully publish, emphasizing the relationships, character, service, and contributions that matter most. Then notice what is absent: salary, house size, vehicle specifications, and many other status markers rarely survive this test. Compare the desired obituary with present ambitions, spending, and use of time. Any large gap indicates that daily behavior may be optimizing for goals that will ultimately feel hollow. The exercise converts an abstract question—what matters?—into a concrete statement of identity and directs present decisions toward the relationships and actions that support it.
Origin
Extracted from Masters in Business, where Morgan Housel described the exercise while discussing priorities, wealth, family, and the danger of getting what you want rather than what you need.
Core principles
- 01Long-term legacy exposes genuine priorities
- 02Status purchases rarely define a meaningful life
- 03Present goals should support desired character
- 04Gaps between daily behavior and legacy deserve attention
How to run it
- 1
Draft the ideal obituary
Write what you would want a thoughtful obituary to say about your life. Use concrete roles, qualities, and contributions rather than financial figures.
Pro tip Write quickly before editing so intuitive priorities surface.
Watch out Do not write what would merely impress strangers.
- 2
Identify meaningful themes
Highlight recurring ideas such as family, friendship, citizenship, service, creativity, or integrity.
Pro tip Look for qualities expressed through repeated behavior.
Watch out Avoid vague labels unsupported by actions.
- 3
Notice what is absent
Record the achievements and possessions that currently consume attention but do not belong in the obituary.
Pro tip Pay special attention to status goals and social comparison.
Watch out Absence does not make all material goals worthless; it changes their relative importance.
- 4
Compare legacy with current life
Examine whether your calendar, spending, relationships, and career decisions support the obituary you wrote.
Pro tip Use recent weeks as evidence rather than relying on intentions.
Watch out Do not confuse aspirations with practiced priorities.
- 5
Close one priority gap
Choose one concrete change that aligns present behavior with the desired legacy and schedule it.
Pro tip Start with a recurring commitment rather than a one-time gesture.
Watch out Trying to transform every area at once can make the exercise inert.
In the wild
A founder's ideal obituary emphasizes being a present parent and generous mentor, yet her calendar shows neither. She protects two family evenings each week and creates a monthly mentoring session while declining one low-value networking commitment.
→ Her actual schedule begins to reflect the legacy she says she values.
Housel says his desired obituary would identify him as a good father, husband, citizen, neighbor, and friend. He contrasts those qualities with the hollowness of an obituary centered on salary, savings, cars, or house size.
→ The contrast makes relationship and character priorities explicit.
Common mistakes
Writing a status résumé
An obituary filled with wealth, titles, and possessions reproduces current status pressure instead of uncovering deeper priorities.
Stopping after reflection
The exercise has little value unless its conclusions change time allocation, spending, or commitments.
Is it for you?
Best for
It is best for people reassessing careers, financial goals, commitments, or definitions of success.
Not ideal for
It is not ideal as a substitute for detailed financial, medical, or estate planning.
From the transcript
“Write down what you want your obituary to say, what would be your dream obituary to say?”
“You automatically know what is not in there, which is your salary, the square footage of your house, the horsepower of your car.”
“But I think it's a good exercise to really clarify what you want out of life.”
From the episode
The Art of Spending Money with Bestselling Author Morgan Housel